My Story
A note before you read
This page is here for those who want to understand where my work comes from.
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You do not need to read my story to book coaching, invite me to speak, or engage with my work. My story is shared by choice, not obligation.
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Please read at your own pace.
Where My Voice Was Formed
My story began long before I had words for what was happening to me.
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I grew up in an environment shaped by control, fear, silence, and expectation. From an early age, I learned how to survive rather than how to feel safe. Abuse, in its many forms, became part of my normal, long before I understood that it should never have been.
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I did not grow up believing I had a voice. I grew up believing that silence kept me alive.
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This is not something I learned from books. It is something I lived.
Culture, Control, and the Loss of Choice
Much of my early life was shaped by cultural expectation and rigid control. Honour, obedience, and image were prioritised over safety, truth, or wellbeing.
I was raised to believe that my life was not my own. Decisions were made for me. My body, my future, and my voice were treated as commodities rather than gifts.
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This eventually led to an attempted marriage that I did not choose, could not refuse, and did not consent to in the way choice requires. What followed was not partnership, but further entrapment.
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This part of my story is documented in my autobiography 'The Only Arranged Marriage'
Survival, Not Strength
For many years, I lived in survival mode.
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I functioned. I performed. I endured.
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Inside, I carried fear, shame, confusion, and a deep sense of worthlessness. I developed coping mechanisms that helped me survive unbearable circumstances, but which also disconnected me from my body, my emotions, and my sense of self.
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There were seasons marked by depression, anxiety, eating disorder, and moments where life felt impossible to continue.
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Survival is often mistaken for weakness. In truth, it is the body and soul doing whatever is necessary to stay alive.
Faith, Abuse, and Uncovering Truth
My journey of faith has not been simple.
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I encountered God in the midst of my pain, but I also encountered spiritual abuse, manipulation, and misuse of authority within spaces that were meant to be safe.
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This is explored deeply in pat two of my story titled 'Uncovering Truths'
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I learned that faith can be weaponised. Scripture can be twisted. Silence can be spiritualised. And trauma can be dismissed in the name of obedience.
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I also learned that God is not afraid of truth.
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My faith today is rooted in truth, discernment, and freedom, not fear or performance. I hold faith with care, because I know how deeply it can wound when misused.
Breaking My Silence Came at a Cost
When I first shared my story publicly, I did not receive universal support.
I received threats, rejection, backlash, and attempts to silence me. There were moments when telling the truth felt more dangerous than staying quiet.
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And yet, I continued.
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Because for every voice that tried to shut me down, there was another person who whispered, “Your story saved my life.”
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That is when I understood that my story was never only about me.
From Survivor to Advocate
I do not share my story to be known as “strong” or “brave”.
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I share it because silence protects abusers, not survivors.
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Over time, my lived experience became the foundation of my work as a speaker, coach, author, and minister. I began to support others navigating abuse, trauma, spiritual harm, and identity loss.
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Not by fixing them.
Not by rushing them.
But by walking alongside them with truth, boundaries, and care.
How My Story Shapes My Work
"My lived experience shapes everything I do"
It shapes how I listen.
How I pace conversations.
How I respect boundaries.
How I avoid retraumatisation.
How I hold faith without force.
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I do not ask people to share more than they choose.
I do not bypass pain with positivity.
I do not position myself as an authority over someone’s life.
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I offer steadiness, clarity, and choice.
Why I Continue to Speak
I speak because many people still live in silence.
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I speak for those who were never believed.
For those harmed in private spaces.
For those wounded by faith but still longing for God.
For those who survived, but do not yet feel free.
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My story is not a spectacle. It is a testimony of truth, survival,
and restoration.
If You See Yourself Here
You are not weak.
You are not broken.
You are not behind.
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Your responses make sense in the context of what you lived through.
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Support is allowed.
Clarity is allowed.
Taking your time is allowed.
